


Not Your Typical Rom-Com

by politik



Category: Daredevil (TV), Jessica Jones (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Friends Scheming, M/M, Matt and Foggy are not in love, but with feelings, except they totally are and everyone knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28542942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/politik/pseuds/politik
Summary: “You cannot send me the same stripper that Marci sent me and expect a different result. That is the literal definition of insanity! Look it up!”***In which Foggy really doesn’t want a stripper, Brett really wants to kiss Matt (for The Greater Good), and everyone thinks Foggy and Matt are flirting even though they very much are not. Seriously, guys, they’re not.
Relationships: Marci Stahl & Karen Page & Brett Mahoney, Matt Murdock/Franklin "Foggy" Nelson
Comments: 13
Kudos: 80
Collections: DDE’s 2021 New Year’s Day Exchange





	Not Your Typical Rom-Com

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Katbelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katbelle/gifts).



> I am SO LATE, but this is for Katbelle’s hilarious prompt for the Daredevil Exchange: 
> 
> Post-s3, Karen, Brett and Marci (plus maybe Theo) begin thinking that Matt and Foggy are flirting and are trying to get them to stop out of fear that if those two DO get together, it'll be a horrible mess. In their minds it'd end with a disaster and Foggy "Apparently Committment Issues" Nelson and Matt "Emotionally Crippled" Murdock would break each other's hearts. they form a secret circle and start scheming to gently ease Matt and Foggy romantically away from each other. Matt and Foggy meanwhile are most definitely NOT flirting; those two have not even thought about dating! They're ~just best friends~. So, give me: Karen/Brett/Marci scheming and all their attempts at getting Matt and Foggy to NOT date. BONUS POINTS: all the Karen/Brett/Marci scheming makes Matt&Foggy realise that they are Idiots In Love who then decide that after all the hard work their friends put into convincing them that dating would be a bad idea, they might as well try it (because they are genuinely in love).
> 
> Guess what? I LOVE bonus points ;)

“It’s sickening,” says Marci, glaring at something over Brett’s shoulder. “I am officially sickened.”

He hears Karen hum in agreement as she swirls her whiskey in its glass, her eyes downcast. Brett turns around and sees nothing out of the ordinary - they’re at Josie’s, for God’s sake, the place is  _ always _ sickening. If you walk into the bathroom, you’re guaranteed to be greeted with the stench of puke and piss. None of this is new. They come here practically every week.

He turns back around to face them and says, “I gather I’m missing something.”

Marci gestures to the bar with her vodka tonic. “ _ Them _ . Foggy and Matt. Nelson and Murdock. Them. They’re  _ sickening _ .”

Brett looks to the ceiling and thinks  _ don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t you dare do it _ before he takes the plunge anyway. “What did they do this time?”

Marci stares at him blankly. “I thought you were a detective.”

“That’s why I’m asking you a question. To get an answer. Like detectives are wont to do.”

“I thought you were a  _ good _ detective.” Marci raises her eyebrows and takes a pointed sip of her drink. They stare each other down, and Brett has seen murderers with less calculating gazes. After a minute, her eyes widen and she says in apparent amazement, “You really can’t see it?”

“ _ Obviously not _ ,” says Brett through his teeth, “otherwise I wouldn’t have asked.”

Marci puts down her drink and turns to Karen. “Is it a man thing? Are all men really this obtuse?”

Karen laughs and says, “From my experience, yes.”

Annoyance swells in Brett’s chest as Marci joins in on the laughter. He has never been more grateful that he doesn’t have sisters than in this moment. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on or what?” 

“They’re  _ flirting _ ,” says Karen, looking over his shoulder to the bar where Matt and Foggy are still waiting to get a second round of drinks for the table. “Have been for months.”

Brett sighs. He really shouldn’t have asked.

“Come on guys, they don’t flirt,” he says, because they don’t. They’re just … close. Always have been, ever since college. For years, Brett hardly ever saw one without the other, first because they lived together and then because they started working together, too. It would be hard not to be close after all that time spent together, time presumed dead notwithstanding.

Marci just rolls her eyes. “You’re telling me you don’t see them  _ touching _ each other more? They were practically holding hands when they walked in tonight.”

“Murdock is  _ blind _ . Foggy was just leading him in.”

“Matt Murdock doesn’t need anyone to guide him.”

“Yeah, but no one else knows that!”

“Brett, they’re smiling more these days. At  _ each other _ ,” Karen says “And they’ve been in such good moods when we’re all in the office.”

“You say it like that’s a bad thing.”

“It’s not right now, but it will be,” says Marci darkly, and for a moment she looks genuinely upset as she glances at them again. “It’s never going to work out. Foggy’s got commitment issues out the wazoo - he’s never been able to commit to a relationship longer than six months ––” 

“–– and Matt would rather we assume he’s dead than accept our help working through any of his own emotional baggage ––”

“–– Foggy wouldn’t even sign a year-long lease because he was afraid it wouldn’t give him the flexibility if a new opportunity popped up ––”

“–– he’d be running around the city in spandex trying atone for each and every one of his sins until he slipped off a building if we didn’t make sure he slept every night —”

“— it took him  _ three hours _ to decide between ties to wear to my friend’s wedding even though they were both fucking  _ red _ and —”

“— Matt’s needs a therapist or a dog or someone more removed who can offer —”

“— Foggy broke up with me the first time after watching  _ Up _ and I know the first ten minutes are an emotional kidney punch but the lesson of that movie was  _ not  _ ‘let’s avoid relationships so we can avoid getting hurt’ it was —”

“ _ Christ _ , I get it, enough!” says Brett, putting his head in his hands. “Foggy can’t commit and Matt can’t emote, and Foggy needs someone who understands him and Matt needs someone who won’t leave him when things get hard, and the world would burst into flames if they ever got together.”

“Exactly!”

“But that would only be a problem if they were getting together. Which  _ they are not doing _ . They’ve always been like this!”

Marci scoffs and Karen just shakes her head pityingly at him, like he’s almost too naive to exist in this cold, dark world. Then they both straighten up and glare at Brett to shut up as though he’s even talking right now, and he doesn’t have to turn around to know that Matt and Foggy are approaching with drinks. 

“Just watch, Mahoney,” says Marci, accepting her second vodka tonic from Matt with a knowing smile. “You’ll see.”

“Marci, you have to stop threatening my childhood friends. It’s rude.”

“Shut up, Nelson.”

***

“Ok, they’re flirting.”

The three of them are stumbling home drunk — Brett’s never really been one to turn down another round of drinks, and he’s going to regret this tomorrow — and their arms are linked together so they can all stay upright, and Foggy Nelson and Matt Murdock are in love.

“When did you finally see it?” asks Karen. “Was it when Foggy started playing footsie really unsubtly?”

“Or how Matt kept gripping Foggy’s arm even though they weren’t walking any place?”

“Or how they both left at the same time in the same direction even though Foggy lives across town now?”

“No,” says Brett. They stumble to a stop as the light turns red. The cars zoom past and past and they honk and honk, and the world doesn’t make sense anymore. “Foggy couldn’t stop  _ staring _ at him. All night. And even though he had his glasses on, I think Matt was staring back.”

“Oh my god, the  _ staring _ ,” says Karen, nodding her head.

“You mean eye-fucking,” says Marci. Brett snorts, but nods in agreement.

“It’s going to be a disaster if they get together,” says Karen, “because it won’t last. Nothing ever has for either of them.”

“So what are we going to do about it?” says Brett.

The walk sign flashes ahead of them, and they make their way across the street, parting the crowd as they go.

Marci leans her head back, sweeping her hair off her shoulders. “We do everything we can to make sure they don’t get together. I’ve got an idea.”

***

“Marci?”

“Yes, Foggy Bear?”

“Is there a  _ reason _ you sent a client named Miranda over to me today?”

“I thought you were more equipped to deal with her particular needs.”

“She started  _ stripping _ in my  _ office _ and wanted to give me a lap dance!”

“Hence why I didn’t think I could service her best.”

“It was nine in the morning. I was barely awake. Just enjoying a perfectly good cup of coffee that Karen coincidentally did  _ not  _ make and then  _ bam _ ! There were breasts for days!”

“So what you’re saying is that you prefer your lap dances in the afternoon or evening?”

“Is this something ex-girlfriends who are now just friends typically do? Is it in a manual somewhere? Or are you trying to get revenge on me by making me spill my coffee all over my best suit?”

“Don’t be dramatic.”

“ _ Dramatic _ ? Dramatic! I could sue you for sexual harassment in, like, all the states!”

“Foggy Bear, I really have to go — I’m heading into a deposition right now and can’t be late.”

“Marci, we need to —”

***

“Okay so maybe strippers weren’t the best idea.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“You come up with something! At least I had an idea!”

“I will!”

***

Brett has been to a lot of bars in his day. Has picked up a lot of girls. Has gone on a lot of dates. He is smooth. He is handsome. He is ready for this.

_ This _ being Matt Murdock.

It’s dark, and the air in the alleyway is thick with humidity as the remnants of a thunderstorm continue dripping from the rooftops into puddles that wink in the gloomy lamplight. It’s as quiet as Hell’s Kitchen ever gets, and it’s time for Brett to work his magic.

Ignoring the unconscious, bleeding man at Matt’s feet, he says, “What’s a guy like you doing in an alley like this?”

Matt stills and even though the Daredevil costume masks a lot, the set line of his mouth tells Brett he is not impressed.

“Beating up criminals for you to take in. I didn’t think I would have to explain that after years of working together, not to mention the literal man tied up at your feet.”

Brett winces internally.  _ You can still save this _ , he thinks.  _ Go for it _ .

“You, uh, come here often?” he gestures to the dingy brick walls, the overflowing trash bins, the damp pavement.  _ Jesus, Brett, only a lunatic would come here often _ . He looks back at Matt, who just sighs heavily.  _ Then again, he  _ is _ Daredevil _ .

“Brett,” says Matt through gritted teeth.

“Yeah?”

He gestures at the guy bleeding on the ground in front of him as if to say,  _ are you going to do something about this? _

“Oh, right,” says Brett, and he feels his cheeks warm as he whips out his handcuffs in what he hopes sounds like an impressive manner to secure the criminal.

Matt shakes his head and parkours up the fire escape and back into the night, and  _ damn _ if Brett doesn’t watch him until he and that glorious suit are out of sight. 

***

“You need to stop flirting with Matt,” says Karen, her hands on her hips. “It’s not fair to him, and you know it.”

Foggy stares at her for a moment, squinting confusedly. Karen gives him her best “don’t fuck with my friend” glare. His expression doesn’t change.

“I asked you for those new court filings for the Alvarez case, not relationship advice.”

“So you two are in a relationship?”

“Jesus, no,” Foggy says, rubbing at his temples. “Matty is my best friend.”

“Your best friend who you want to date.”

“ _ No _ , what the hell, Karen? Can you just give me those files? We have to be in court tomorrow and I need to be prepared.”

Karen picks up the documents she had already made notes on and slams them on Foggy’s desk. He jumps a little, and Karen gets a little thrill of satisfaction.

“Look, Matt needs someone who isn’t going to flake out on him when things get hard. You can’t just flirt with him and play around with him. He’s been through too much.”

“I completely agree,” says Foggy slowly, sliding the files out from underneath her hand. “Matt deserves the world.”

“Good,” says Karen sweetly, but her eyes still say  _ run, Nelson, run. _

***

“Dude, I think Karen may want to get back together with you. Watch out.”

  
  


***

Marci stares at Matt.

Matt stares at the framed picture just to the left of Marci’s face, but really, it’s not that far off.

Marci blinks.

Matt continues to stare at the picture to the left of Marci’s face.

“Foggy once masturbated to  _ Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives _ .”

And then she just  _ leaves _ .

Matt blinks.

“What the fuck?”

***

The door slams shut so hard that Karen winces. She shrinks as Foggy turns around to glare at her, his fists clenched tightly at his sides.

“Karen?”

“Yes?” she says meekly. 

“What was that?”

“A present?”

She hears Matt chuckle from within his office and she has never wanted to melt into a puddle and slide away from a situation more.

“You cannot send me the  _ same stripper _ that Marci sent me and expect a different result. That is the  _ literal definition of insanity _ ! Look it up!”

Matt just laughs and laughs and laughs. 

“Do I look like I need help or something? Is that it? I’ll let you know that I have sex on the reg. I am a sex _ fiend _ . I am super fucking sexy and people notice and have sex with me because I am sexy and really good at sex.”

“You haven’t had sex in four months!” Matt calls, and through the blinds, Karen can see him leaning back in his chair and grinning.

“You are such a bad friend it is unbelievable.” Foggy throws up his hands to the sky. “Why, God, did you give me the worst friends?”

***

“Ok, strippers are officially out. Done.”

“I thought we had established this.”

“Yeah, well, you can never be too sure.”

“I thought we were very sure about this.”

“Brett, if you have any helpful suggestions, by all means go for it!”

“I will!”

***

_ You can do this _ , Brett thinks. He jumps up and down to pump himself up even further.  _ You. Can. Do this. It’s for everyone’s best interest. The Greater Good. You can do this! Just go over there, grab his stupid face, and kiss him. _

So he does.

Brett marches right over to him, takes his face into his hands, and gives Matt Murdock the best fucking kiss of his life right there on the courthouse steps.

People hoot and holler as they pass. Matt is stiff in his arms, but Brett thinks that may be more out of confusion than outright revulsion. He deepens the kiss for a second, and then pulls away, giving Matt a nice, totally not-platonic pat on the shoulders. When Matt just stands there, stunned for the first time in Brett’s memory, Brett says, “I’d like to ask you to dinner.”

“No you wouldn’t,” says Matt, so quickly that Brett reels, offended. He’s a great kisser, thank you very much. He can put a  _ lot _ of emotion into a kiss. Or so he’s been told by numerous people.

“Yes, I would,” says Brett with as much enthusiasm as he can muster. “I want to take you on a date.”

“You don’t like me like that.”

“I just kissed you in front of half the NYPD. I have been trying to woo you for weeks. This is me, you know, wooing you.”

“Brett,” Matt says kindly, “I can hear your heartbeat — I know when you’re lying. You don’t want to date me.”

Brett stares at him for a moment before the overwhelming feeling of annoyance builds up so high in his chest that he turns on his heels and walks away, leaving Murdock there on the court steps with his stupid lawyer colleagues clapping him on the back.

How is he so bad at this? How hard can it be to make one emotionally-repressed vigilante fall for him so that he doesn’t ruin things for everyone by dating Foggy? Brett visits his mother every other day. He’s got a six-pack and has read  _ Pride and Prejudice _ and he  _ liked it _ . Brett is a fucking catch. 

Matt Murdock is missing out.

***

The only thing Matt Murdock is missing out on is the last vestiges on his patience. As soon as he steps inside the tiny Italian restaurant and gets a very distinct whiff of whiskey and coffee, he  _ knows _ Karen has set him up. 

“Oh, fuck no,” says Jessica Jones the moment she spots him. She pulls out a flask from her jacket and takes a sip, ignoring the protests of a passing waiter. “I didn’t sign up for this.”

“It’s nice to see you, too, Miss Jones.”

“Oh cut the crap, Murdock.”

Matt sighs and sits down opposite her. The smell of whiskey mixing with the aroma of cream sauce wafting through the air is making him nauseated. 

“I didn’t know you and Karen were still friendly.”

“We’re not,” says Jessica, and Matt can  _ feel  _ her roll her eyes. “She paid me five hundred bucks to go on a blind date with her friend, but I didn’t think she’d be so literal.”

“She told me she wanted to get dinner with me and chat about our upcoming cases.”

“I thought you could tell when someone’s lying?”

“It was a text.”

“No shit,” says Jessica almost approvingly, like she’s impressed by Karen’s duplicity. She probably is. Then she says something Matt is  _ not _ expecting: “What, did you and Nelson break up and she’s trying to get you back in the game, or something?”

“Foggy and I didn’t break up,” Matt says, nonplussed.

“Then why did she want to set up a date with another person? That’s pretty fucked up.”

“Foggy and I have never dated. I thought  _ you _ knew everything about everyone.”

“Ha, ha,” she says tonelessly. After a long moment of staring at him, she takes another sip out of her flask. “You guys really aren’t together?”

“No, what would even make you think that?”

“Because you two flirt all the time,” she says. The waiter comes and gives them each a menu which Matt doesn’t open because it is useless to him.

“Flirt?”

“You touch each other all the time. And hug. And smile at each other. And eye-fuck.”

“Eye-fuck.”

“Yeah, it’s seriously gross.”

“Foggy is my best friend,” Matt says. He takes a long sip of his water and wishes it were Jessica’s whiskey. 

“Just because he’s your best friend, doesn’t mean you can’t be something more. I’ve seen it happen to plenty of people. You guys are…cute enough together, I guess.” Jessica shrugs and opens her menu to look at the options and give him a moment to collect himself.

Matt thinks of Foggy, his best friend, his closest confidant, the person who he can tell anything and everything to. The person he  _ wants _ to tell anything and everything to. Matt thinks of Foggy’s warm skin and warm heart, the way his pulse races when he figures out the best argument to win their case, the way his hands gently press a bruise and grip his arm as he leads them onward. He thinks of Foggy and thinks of love, but he’s  _ always  _ loved Foggy, even when he was with Elektra, and Karen, and any of the other girls from college. Always.

Oh.

_ Oh _ .

“ _ There _ it is,” says Jessica, who must have already decided what she wanted and is now smirking at Matt. “If it makes you feel any better, I know he feels the same way, even if he hasn’t realized it yet. Remember, I know everything about everyone.”

Matt lets out a shaky little laugh and puts his head in his hands just as the waiter comes to take their order.

“Can you bring us your best bottle of wine, two shots of your most expensive whiskey, and another waiter who is actually competent? I’ve got five-hundred dollars to burn, and my friend here needs some liquid courage and a Braille menu because he’s blind and you thought he could read  _ laminate  _ for chrissake.”

***

Matt is feeling warm and determined and not at all scared as he raps on Foggy’s door later that night. The air he exhales tastes like too much whiskey and he sort of wants to throw up but he will  _ not _ because he can  _ do this _ .

He hears Foggy stumble over the couch and bang into the side table and he laughs a little because this is Foggy and it is one o’clock in the morning and he is going to tell his best friend he loves him and  _ he can do this _ .

So when Foggy opens his door wiping sleep from his eyes, Matt doesn’t think any longer. He just steps across the threshold, takes his face into his hands, and gives Foggy Nelson the best fucking kiss of his life.

It lasts for a minute, for a second, for eternity. Foggy is stiff at first, like he’s surprised, but he then melts and wraps his arms around Matt and draws him closer, deepening the kiss. It is warm. It is glorious. The only thought Matt can wrap his head around is that he wants this, he wants more. He wants this always.

They break off for air, and Foggy takes a half step back. “Well hello to you, too, Matty,” he says with a laugh on his lips. It’s the greatest sound Matt has ever heard.

“You’re my best friend,” says Matt, taking Foggy’s hands in his own. The whiskey and the night are beating in his veins, urging him on. “But I don’t want to be your friend anymore.”

“I don’t want to be your friend anymore, either,” says Foggy. He tugs him inside and kisses him again and again and again and the night doesn’t seem so empty anymore, and the bed never felt so soft.

***

“You know they were trying to make sure this didn’t happen, right?”

“Who? Karen, Marci, and Brett?”

“Yeah. They sent  _ strippers _ to distract me. As if anything could distract me from your ass. It’s all a guy could ever want.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
